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Self Awareness

Self Awareness, Self Acceptance & why do Mothers always get the blame?
You know…the whole finding out ‘who you are’  trip?
Those that say they are ‘finding themselves’. We’ve all done this, also known as Navel Gazing.  I’ve done more than my fair share of this, so thought (given current circumstances) it was time to put fingers to keys to offload some of it.
Mostly we go about our lives almost on autopilot, skimming along life with truly limited self awareness, distracting ourselves with the same schedules, worries, concerns, stressors…let’s call that ‘life shit’. Occasionally some of us will reach that ‘zen’ space where we think we are truly self aware, wallowing in our feelings & reaching that perfect space of Navel gazing.
This is where we think we finally have Got it!  
But actually, you don’t ‘Get it’ at all, true self awareness is all about self acceptance, and that is all about empathy and compassion, for yourself as well
as others.
It’s only when we accept our own flaws and our own emotions & triggers that we are capable of accepting others without the need to judge (easier said than done totally).  If we don’t accept ourselves as we are, we will return to those distractions to avoid it, and we will be incapable of accepting others – & so will subconsciously judge, manipulate, or try to change them, or convince them to be the
person they are not.
At that point all relationships become conditional, toxic, & sadly ultimately failures.
And that’s where Mother Blame comes in – sure we can all blame our hardworking, ever loving Mothers for all our ails, our emotional stability, our abandonment issues, trust me I’ve got them in spades! (Not even going there with my adopted self being warned about the ‘orphanage’ if I ever misbehaved).  And … therein lies the kicker, at some point (lets say when you truly are an adult) you just have to take ownership of your OWN actions, your emotions & the ultimate fall out of bad behaviours.  Own it, reflect on it, apologise for it, without the need for laying blame elsewhere,
cause it’s all on YOU.
Personal responsibility is key. You must accept all responsibility for your needs, your wants, your pain, your actions & you simply have to accept & learn that there is no excuse for abuse. Blaming anyone else, even someone who hurt you in your childhood is not going to help you heal now. It will not assist you in meeting your needs. It will not help you learn how to maintain stable & loving relationships. It will not help you to truly find yourself. It will only continue to support you staying mute & stuck in borderline suffering.
We all have a choice in how we choose to move into our future & it’s not on your Mother. Jul x0 - for all the parents with Cluster B family members ...

1 comment

  • Mariel

    Hello! I am from Argentina and I am so sorry because of my poor english that avoids me to explain you how important are your words for me at this point of my life.




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